WeeklySA_AdminTIK TOK: Time’s running out for humans and human intelligence or HI as robots take over the world…
With Sy Makaringe
There must be something that the tech yobs, ponytails and nerds of the world, particularly those of the Silicone Valley stork, are smoking.
Granted, these are extremely fortunate blokes who have had their mental capacities screwed in the right places in their cerebellums, hence their amazing ability to think out of the box and create something that was previously unthinkable, even if they have to be aided by a zol, a puff or a sniff.
With their impeccable lateral thinking, and at the click of a mouse, these tech entrepreneurs are turning the world upside down, making themselves bundles of money in a manner they themselves could not have imagined was possible.
Gone are the days when companies were called by the names of the services they provided or products they made. Take General Electric, for example. Because of its simple and straightforward name, one can never be in any doubt about what business the 133-year-old United States multinational conglomerate is in. Anything electrical.
International Business Machines Corporation, or IBM for short, has been called that simply because its business has always been just that – to make business machines. Throughout its evolution over the past century, IBM has produced all sorts of business machines – from electromechanical equipment and mainframes to desktop computers, personal computers (remember the ThinkPads?) and the beloved auto-teller machines (ATMs), which we so lovingly and intensely hug come payday and would not let go no matter how long the queue behind us is.
IBM is probably the last tech company to call a spade a spade, not a leaf, a cat or an apple.
Enter Steve Jobs and his genius friend Steve Wozniak in the mid-1970s and soon the sobriety and conservatism that defined the industry were chucked out the window. The duo, both college dropouts (imagine!) revolutionised the information technology space with new breathtaking innovations.
When the time came for the duo to give their new creation a label, the name that instinctively came out of Jobs’s mouth was Apple, of all names. His pal, Wozniak, had no hesitation in agreeing to it, even though it had no bearing to the business they were both to undertake.
The only reason Jobs called the computer Apple was, we are told, because he just loved the fruit. That fruit is actually very problematic, and we even suspect it contains addictive compounds. You’ll remember that in the beginning, after a man ate the fruit against the advice of his Maker, all hell broke loose. He lost all his privileges and perks and had henceforth to work his socks off for survival.
Mark Zuckerberg – who, like Steve Jobs, had a brief dalliance with college – tried to bring some semblance of sanity to the tech industry when he named the social media service he started with his four roommates Facebook.
But that wasn’t for long. Soon the tech-related and tech-aided market was to contend with wierd names such as YouTube, Amazon, Uber, Yahoo, Google, Titan, Yandex, DuckDuckgo, TikTok, etc.
WhatsApp, a brilliant play on the term “what’s up”, probably came up after a sober discussion among like-minded tech geniuses. Not so with Instagram. It looks like the name was coined after the dudes behind it had had a gram of instant cocaine in a smoke-filled garage.
Then there is a Tablet. Who would call an electronic notepad a tablet unless that person is probably under the influence of Mandrax?
It is believed that Zhang Yiming, the 43-year-old Chinese tech entrepreneur who established TikTok, might probably have been on tik while working on his unique video-based social media messaging and entertainment platform.
Apparently Yiming was still thinking about what to call the app when he heard his head telling him he was running out of time.
Dazed and dizzy from the devastating effects of the crystal methamphetamine, made with love in the Cape Flats, all Yiming could probably hear in his head was tick, tock; tick, tock; tick tock, hence he hastily named it TikTok, it is alleged. Actually, it was the tik talking.
Both Yiming and his company, ByteDance, are now running out of time for real after Donald Trump, the world’s baddest bully and the most evil extortionist ever born, were given an ultimatum to sell the app to an American company or face a total ban in the United States.
Tick, tock; tick, tock; tick, tock!
One wonders why tech-related companies don’t go back to basics and follow the sober habits of entrepreneurs behind brands like Ford Motor Corporation, General Motors, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal China, etc.
Even South African brands such as Ocean Basket, Chicken Licken, Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC), Shoprite, Pick n Pay, Mall of the South and Courier Guy can bring the tech boys back to their senses and inspire them to coin proper names of their businesses.
Having said that, the people of the world must do themselves a big favour: keep these tech dudes as far away as possible from nyaope.
I mean, with the artificial intelligence (AI) these weirdos have created they have already started pushing human intelligence (HI) to the periphery.
Imagine what these fellas can do if they can lay their hands on the potent concoction that is made cheaply in the back streets of Umlazi, Khayelitsha, Soweto and Alexandra.
I bet you, they would put robots in charge over humans.
The signs are already there. Robots have already started asking humans a very weird question: are you a robot?
This is an early warning sign that if humans leave their future in the hands of the “high” tech boys, the might lose the dominion given to them by God and become second-class citizens in the world of their birth (Genesis 1:28).
ONCE A SINNER, ALWAYS A SINNER
YOU have to feel sorry for this highly talented Italian tennis superstar whose life has unfortunately been intertwined with and complicated by the nominative determinism phenomenon.
The poor dude may be the world’s No.1 tennis player today, but he cannot wish away the misfortune of having been born into a family of perennial Sinners. He will, whether he likes it or not, remain a Sinner all his life and will most certainly die a Sinner.
One of the most exciting hitters of the tennis ball in the modern game, the 23-year-old Yannik Sinner has been a revelation on the tennis court since he burst into the limelight of the big league two years ago, casting tennis megastars such as Roger Federer, Novak Djokovic and Rafael Nadal into the shadows with a stroke of tennis genius.
But no sooner had Sinner ascended the top of the exciting tennis world than he found himself in a familiar territory, the sin bin.
He was slapped with a three-month suspension by the World Anti-Doping Agency for testing positive, not once but twice, for the banned substance closterbol in March last year.
Shortly after the ban was lifted, the highly remorseful Sinner asked the tennis world for forgiveness for his sins.
What’s more, Sinner and his family of Sinners, feeling as miserable as sin, flew to the Vatican to apparently ask the freshly minted Pope Leo XIV to seek divine redemption on his and their behalf.
What’s not in doubt, though, is that Yannik Sinner is a likeable fellow within the global tennis fraternity.
I suppose that given the fact that the indiscretion Sinner has committed cannot be classified as a cardinal sin per se, the unforgiving tennis fans worldwide will have no choice other than to love the Sinner but hate the sin itself.
