WeeklySA_AdminPACE: What science says about navigating the emotional phases we go through when embarking on the journey …
By Jeanette Brown
When people imagine retirement, they often picture an endless holiday — or, conversely, a slow slide into boredom.
But here’s the surprise: research consistently shows that happiness, on average, increases after leaving full-time work.
Of course, this isn’t true for everyone. The first months can be messy — the sudden loss of structure, quiet mornings, the identity shift. I’ve been there myself. After decades in demanding roles, I expected instant peace. Instead, I found myself restless and anxious, not quite sure who I was without my work badge.
But as the months unfolded, something unexpected happened. My nervous system started to exhale. I began sleeping better, laughing more, and noticing simple pleasures again — coffee on the deck, morning sunlight, slower conversations.
And now, with what we know from psychology and neuroscience, it’s clear why so many people experience the same thing.
Stress
During our working years, many of us live in a state of near-constant alert. Emails, deadlines, performance reviews, traffic, multitasking — all of it keeps the body’s stress response switched “on.”
Chronic stress floods the bloodstream with cortisol and adrenaline. Over time, that high-alert state can blunt our emotional range, disrupt sleep, and leave us mentally exhausted.
When retirement begins, the nervous system finally gets a chance to reset. Studies show that cortisol levels tend to fall once work pressure lifts. The parasympathetic nervous system — the one that helps us rest and digest — begins to dominate again. That’s when people often notice they’re less reactive, more patient, and quicker to laugh.
You can accelerate that process by adding small rituals that calm your system: early-morning sunlight, gentle breath work, or five minutes of stillness before starting the day. As I’ve found personally, these micro-habits signal to the brain: you’re safe now; you can exhale.
Autonomy returns
One of the most underestimated joys of retirement is the return of autonomy.
In psychology, self-determination theory tells us that three needs drive human happiness: autonomy, competence, and connection. During our working years, autonomy is often in short supply. We follow schedules, answer to supervisors, and spend years balancing other people’s priorities.
Retirement flips that script. Suddenly, you decide when to wake, what to do, who to see. And neuroscience confirms what we feel: when we have more control over our days, the brain’s reward circuits release dopamine — the motivation molecule that fuels energy and creativity.
This freedom isn’t just about leisure; it’s about alignment. When you can design your day around what matters most, you re-engage the brain’s curiosity and pleasure pathways. Ask yourself: what choices make me feel most alive now? That question alone can reignite a sense of purpose.
Time for relationships
If there’s one secret to long-term happiness, this is it. For more than 80 years, Harvard’s Study of Adult Development has tracked what makes life satisfying. The answer wasn’t money, success, or even health — it was close relationships.
Retirement gives us time to deepen those bonds. We can finally linger over coffee with friends, call siblings more often, or volunteer in ways that connect us to the community. Every one of these moments releases oxytocin, the “tend-and-befriend” hormone that lowers blood pressure and boosts immunity.
People sometimes worry they’ll lose their social circle after leaving work. That’s true for a while. But those who intentionally rebuild connection — joining groups, mentoring, or simply scheduling regular catch-ups — often report stronger, more meaningful ties than ever before.
Rediscovering purpose
Too often, retirement is defined by what we leave behind: the job title, the to-do list, the paycheck.
But the happiest retirees reframe it as what they’re retiring into.
Psychologists have long known that purpose protects against depression and cognitive decline. One large study found that people with a strong sense of purpose were 2.4 times more likely to stay mentally sharp as they aged.
Purpose doesn’t have to mean a grand mission. It can be mentoring young people, growing a garden, painting, or helping out in the local community. A friend of mine, a retired teacher, now runs a storytelling group at her library. “I feel more useful now than I ever did at work,” she told me. That sense of contribution lights up the same reward circuits as professional success — but without the stress.
Sleep, rhythm
Many people discover that retirement brings better sleep — not just more of it, but deeper rest.
When we stop setting alarms and start aligning with natural light, our circadian rhythms reset. Morning sunlight triggers serotonin, which later converts to melatonin at night. Over time, that leads to richer slow-wave sleep, the kind that restores both body and mind.
Less stress also means fewer 3am wake-ups replaying tomorrow’s tasks. For those who still struggle with restless nights, creating a bedtime ritual helps. Our brains love predictable cues like that — it’s how they learn safety.
Less comparison
During our working lives, it’s easy to measure ourselves against others: promotions, salaries, status. Even subconsciously, we internalise a constant scoreboard.
But with age, that drive softens. Neuroscientists call it the positivity effect — older adults tend to focus more on positive experiences and less on negative ones. The amygdala, the brain’s emotional alarm centre, becomes less reactive, while the prefrontal cortex strengthens emotional regulation.
This shift helps explain why many people report feeling calmer and more content later in life. They’re less pulled by external validation and more grounded in gratitude. A simple daily journaling practice — writing three things you appreciated today — reinforces this neural pathway of satisfaction. Over time, it literally trains the brain to look for joy.
Slower pace
Slowing down isn’t laziness; it’s biology.
When we rush, our sympathetic nervous system dominates. But when we pause — to notice birdsong, breathe deeply, or take a mindful walk — we engage the parasympathetic system, which releases serotonin and promotes relaxation.
These tiny pauses aren’t trivial. They create the conditions for neuroplasticity — the brain’s ability to change itself through experience. With regular calm moments, we strengthen neural circuits for focus, gratitude, and resilience.
Many retirees describe this as “feeling more themselves again.” They’re not chasing happiness; they’re inhabiting it.
Happiness
Happiness in retirement doesn’t always mean excitement or constant joy. It often shows up as ease — a quiet sense that life feels right-sized again.
This is what psychologists call eudaimonic wellbeing — the deeper satisfaction that comes from living in alignment with your values, rather than pursuing constant pleasure.
It’s the contentment of knowing who you are, what matters, and how to spend your energy wisely.
So if you’ve found yourself smiling at smaller things lately, that’s not regression — it’s growth. Your brain has adapted to a new rhythm of meaning and calm.
The science of thriving
The science is clear: reduced stress, greater autonomy, richer relationships, stronger purpose, and better emotional regulation all contribute to a happy rebound in retirement.
But thriving doesn’t happen by accident. It takes reflection, courage, and sometimes a full rewiring of what we think “success” looks like.
The happiest people in later life aren’t those who simply stop working — they’re the ones who stay curious, connected, and open to growth.
If you’re ready to design your own version of that, my free guide A Guide to Thriving in Your Retirement Years offers practical insights and reflection prompts to help you navigate the emotional phases we go through when we retire. – geediting.com
