WeeklySA_AdminINTERNAL DEMOCRACY: MKP’s elective conference will take place only at the say-so of uBaba Msholozi, if at all
FUN GALORE
WITH SY MAKARINGE
Many people have been too hard on uBaba’s baby, uMkhonto we Sizwe Party (MKP). And it hurts.
uBaba’s haters say although this outfit is the third-largest among all the political parties represented in parliament, it is telling that it still does not have a recognised head office in a major South African city like Johannesburg, Pretoria, Cape Town or Durban as he prefers to operate it quietly, via a remote control, from home, more accurately from MaKhumalo’s spaza shop, in rural Nkandla.
After all, if there was one thing that we learnt from the COVID-19 pandemic, it is that most of us can now work from home, in the comfort of our shacks and huts while keeping an eye on our livestock in the adjacent kraal, like the one uBaba built next to his Nkandla compound, using taxpayers’ money of course.
Dubbed by detractors as “a-man-and-his-fax-machine operation”, the burgeoning party does not even have a fixed-line telephone, yet it is the country’s official opposition party.
The scoffers whine that the party also does not even have a constitution – meaning people mindlessly rushed to join it without knowing what it stood for – and that uBaba Msholozi blocks internal democracy by refusing to hold an elective conference, at least not in the foreseeable future.
So, stop the whingeing guys because this uBaba’s baby is hardly 10 months old. Even Nkandla was not built in a day. So, chill.
PRINCE OF HATERS
Leading the pack of these haters is political analyst Prince Mashele, who, during a “State of the Nation” podcast with Mike Sham, described uBaba’s baby as a cult.
“Those who were in MK and who were in the ANC during apartheid know what I am about to say: it was a terribly weak army, MK. It could not topple the South African government. For the rest of its life it failed to topple the South African apartheid state. It couldn’t match it. That’s why … the best it could be [was to be] a guerilla movement …infiltrating … sending a chap here with MKs (sic) to cause …
“But in terms of being a proper army, the MK of the ANC was a useless army. Period. So, for Zuma, who by the way was not a soldier of that MK … Zuma, let’s just state it, was never a soldier of the MK. For him to be inspired by such a useless army means that he has actually formed a useless party.”
UThixo waseGeorge Goch!
EMZINI WEZINSIZWA
No matter what Prince Mashele and his ilk can say about uBaba’s baby, there are major developments taking place in MaKhumalo’s back yard in Nkandlaville.
A little more than a week ago, uBaba used his base in Nkandla to call an international media conference in Sandton, where he unveiled an eight-member high-command team. What is striking about the team is that it comprises seven men – including uBaba himself and the EFF defector Floyd Shivambu – and one woman, deputy secretary-general Nombuso Mkhize, all handpicked by Nxamalala himself. A few days later uBaba sent a new cohort of MPs to Cape Town to be sworn in by National Assembly Speaker Thoko Didiza. Only two of them were women.
This is a clear indication from the outset that no gender equality or affirmative action will be tolerated emzini ka Baba (daddy’s home).
SHANGAANS ALSO ALLOWED
The haters of uBaba also lie through their teeth that MKP is a Zulu, ethnic-based party. This is absolutely bollocks, balderdash, poppycock, gibberish, hogwash, codswallop, bull, garbage or claptrap as umtwana ka Phindangene, the one and only Prince Mangosuthu Buthelezi, would say if he were still alive. If anything, this is a political home for amaZulu and amaShangaan. Just look at who’s who in the party.
The party’s CEO, Joe Ndhlela, is Shangaan-speaking, so is his son, Nhlamulo Ndhlela, who serves the party as its spokesperson and member of parliament, so is his uncle, former SARS boss Tom Moyane, who forms the party’s brains trust.
The party’s Shangaan contingent was further strengthened by the arrival from the Economic Freedom Fighters of Floyd Shivambu who, as MKP’s national organiser, is the engine room of the party.
uBaba did not stop there. He sent two Shangaans to Parliament – musician Eric Nkobane a.k.a. Penny Penny a.k.a. Papa Penny and controversial former PRASA chief executive Lucky Montana.
Two other Shangaan/Xitsonga speakers – leader of the ill-fated political party Xiluva, Bongani Baloyi, and former COPE member and former president of the failed South African Rainbow Alliance (SARA) Coleen Makhubele – almost tripped each other in their race to join uBaba’s hustle in Nkandla.
LOST IN TRANSLATION
Talking about Penny Penny and Shangaans, many people will remember the good old days in the 1990s when, at the height of his now-faltering music career, the famous Shaka Bundu singer would release one hit album after another, and in quick succession. The pace at which he was releasing these albums was simply too furious for the producers to keep up with that one smart alec in his recording company decided to title one of his offerings Laphinda iShangane (The Shangaan has done it again!).
That the label iShangane is a derogatory, belittling term that objectifies a human being, and not a , was all lost to poor Papa Penny.
Wish him well in his stint in the seventh parliament courtesy of the goodness of uBaba’s heart.
WRONG WEAPON, BABA
Although they love uBaba to bits, many rank and file members of uMkhonto we Sizwe Party are increasingly becoming confused by his antics, which seem to stem from his bad, old days in the African National Congress (ANC), the same party that hounded him out of Mahlamba-Ndlopfu, hauled him before the Zondo Commission of Inquiry and handed him over to prison authorities at the Estcourt Correctional Services Centre in KwaZulu-Natal in 2021. They say it is high time uBaba cut his ties with the ANC and focus on the MKP as he has a brand to build. That is why they are not chaffed when he dances to and sings Umshini Wam’ whenever an opportunity presents itself.
The KwaZulu-Natal High Court, where uBaba’s his lawyer, Advocate Dali Mpofu, successfully argued last week that Judge Nkosinathi Chili must provide reasons for denying him his request for Advocate Billy Downer to recuse himself as the lead prosecutor in the long-running arms deal case, was such an opportunity.
As he animatedly sang: “Awulethu umshini wam’ … (Bring me my machine …)” outside the court, a loyalist in the crowd was heard saying in hushed tones: “But he’s calling for a wrong weapon.” Another staunch supporter mumbled in agreement: “Yes, he should be asking us to bring him an umkhonto instead.” But uBaba can be excused because, as they say, old habits die hard.
UMKHUKHU FALLING APART
Enough now about uBaba and his umkhonto! It would seem that Floyd Shivambu’s sudden departure from the Economic Freedom Fighters (EFF) has left the revolutionary party in disarray, organisationally and policy wise.
Styled as a pan-Africanist party by Shivambu, the then EFF policy honcho, and leader Julius Malema, the EFF has for years been calling for the collapse of imperialist and colonial borders in Africa to allow all Africans to move freely around their continent as they were one people.
Shivambu had not even received his first pay cheque in uMkhonto we Sizwe Party and already policy coherence in the EFF had gone out the window. EFF ground forces, in a desperate bid to hold sway in the run-up to last week’s all-important by-election in Enhlazeni region in Mpumalanga, dumped the party’s policy document Shivambu and Malema developed and accused ANC regional chairperson Jackie Macie as not being a South African but a Mozambican.
* Sy Makaringe, a Limpopo-based editorial content development specialist, writes in his personal capacity
