WeeklySA_AdminRUFFLING FEATHERS: Questions continue to swirl around the perennial political party hopper
With Sy Makaringe
WHEN we at this column first heard of the story of the Shangani Wanderer, our immediate reaction was: which party has Floyd Shivambu joined now, and which other disgraced African prophet has he visited recently in their own country for spiritual upliftment?
After his controversial excursion to Prophet Shepherd Bushiri’s Enlightened Christian Gathering (ECG) church in Malawi over this year’s Easter weekend, we thought South Africa’s high-profile political tourist could now have possibly wandered into Nigeria to seek divine intervention from rape-accused Pastor Timothy Omotoso, a citizen of that country, in the wake of his (Shivambu’s) topsy-turvy political career.
While there he could have even sneaked out into the forests of Mai Jama’A in Kaduna State to secretly procure some juju to make his political enemies, real or imagined, to disappear.
After all, he was rumoured to have done the same thing during his ill-fated visit to Bushiri in Malawi as he allegedly sought to make former president Jacob Zuma vanish, through supernatural powers, from his seat as leader of the uMkhonto weSizwe Party (MKP).
Knowing his uncanny propensity to shock his unsuspecting followers, we also thought Shivambu could have earned the Shangani Wanderer tag after he secretly flew all the way to the Vatican in Rome, Italy, to seek spiritual soothing from the newly minted pontiff, Leo XIV.
Well, as it has turned out, the label Shangani Wanderer has nothing to do with Shivambu, the Xitsonga/Shangaan-speaking politician whose recent political wanderings and exploits have set tongues wagging in the political space.
According to a story in online news publication Daily Maverick, Shangani Wanderer is the name given to “a young white-backed vulture fitted with a tracking device at Shangani in Zimbabwe, a region where the critically endangered birds have fallen prey to poaching and poisoning”.
What cannot be ruled out, though, is that political vultures might still be after Shivambu’s blood after he ruffled a few feathers through his explosive but largely unsubstantiated revelations about the goings-on behind the scenes at MKP.
FLOYD, URINE THERAPIST
STILL on Floyd Shivambu, the more the expelled uMkhonto weSizwe Party secretary general opens his mouth to speak, the more questions are raised about his next move and what his real motives are.
Some people close to him say his claim that he wants to go on a consultation and listening exercise to determine whether there is a need for him, or anyone else for that matter, to start their own political cult is a smokescreen. They reckon he has bigger and unique plans.
After all, they say, the Arrogant One is not a good listener to begin with; he listens to no one else but Floyd Shivambu himself. If anything, they continue to opine, the only listening and consultation process he gets involved in starts and ends in his head, the only head in the whole wide world of 8 231 613 070 people that houses superior logic.
The real motive of his new escapades, his hangers-on claim, lies in the meaning of Pompous One’s surname.
You see, in India the name Shivambu “refers to the practice of urine therapy, which involves using one’s urine for medicinal or cosmetic purposes,” according to Wikipedia.
Many people might not know that urine has historically been used to cure ailments and conditions such as asthma, arthritis, cancer, indigestion, allergies, migraines and infertility.
Amandha Vollmer, a Canadian author and naturopathic medicine specialist, says urine is not waste. Instead, she describes Shivambu – which is also known as urine therapy, orin therapy, auto-urine therapy or urotherapy – as “structured water” and “a golden elixir for healing” that has been used for centuries “to heal diseases, dissolve blood clots, fight infections and heal skin issues”.
How Floyd hopes to use Shivambu (or urine therapy) to realign South Africa’s deeply flawed political landscape or to deal with his political enemies is a matter only he can answer.
LORD SHIVA IN THE HOUSE
HOWEVER, there is a school of thought that Floyd Shivambu’s real intentions might actually be weirder, scarier and more bizarre than serving us up with urine to solve our political problems.
There are fears in political circles that the unpredictable Shivambu might want to style himself around Lord Shiva.
Reputed to be one of the most prominent deities of the Hindu religion, Lord Shiva (the first two syllables of Shivambu’s surname), was, according to Wikipedia, “born out of the cosmic energy of the universe, embodying the essence of the Supreme Being”.
“He is seen as the force that harmonises the universe, ensuring that destruction leads to rebirth and renewal,” says the popular online encyclopedia.
So, in the age when renewal is the operative word especially in ANC politics, is it Lord Shivambu who is going to destroy the moribund democratic project and deliver us to a better South Africa?
STRUGGLE LESSON #101
IT would seem that Economic Freedom Fighters (EFF) leader Julius Malema has learnt nothing from his struggle idol, the late former Zimbabwean president Robert Mugabe.
Malema was in awe of the now departed ex-ZANU-PF strongman, describing him as “a towering figure” and “the most visionary and bravest leader” with an “unwavering commitment to the cause for African liberation”.
The peacetime struggle icon also recalled how Mugabe “faced unimaginable attacks in the quest for the return of the land to the African people” both during his struggle days and in his presidency, adding: “Zimbabwe (under Mugabe) was punished for daring to redefine itself as a sovereign nation.”
One of the leaders of the Western world who felt Mugabe’s sharp tongue was former British prime minister Tony Blair.
But after the UK denied Malema a visa to visit the country earlier this year, all the Robert Mugabe-wannabe could do was to throw his toys out of the cot, whine, whinge and moan instead of confronting Prime Minister Keir Starmer with the vengeance that the late Zimbabwean leader was known for.
In the media statement in response to the repudiation of his visa application, the EFF described the Brits’ action as “cowardice” and “a pathetic expression of intolerance”.
The party also accused the British government of “stifling democratic debate” and being “an intolerant bully”.
This is lightweight compared to what Mugabe would have told Starmer if he was in Malema’s shoes: “Only God, who appointed me, has the right to instruct me what to do and where to go, not the British. So, Starmer, keep your England and let me keep my South Africa.”
EISH, THIS ENGRISH
“And did she give a background as to why did she make this request particularly where the particulars were conveyed to you as an open mouth, a teeth that was visible with gold?” – Advocate Charles Mnisi, a defence lawyer in the protracted Senzo Meyiwa murder trial, during his cross-examination of a witness in the Pretoria High Court last week.
